apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
