I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You can't special order awesome
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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