I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
