you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
