I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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