She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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