in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
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