Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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