She announced her abortion via fbk
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
