you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
There's always time for handjobs
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
