Princesses don't give blow jobs
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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