By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
sarcasm needs its own font
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
