Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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