but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
