I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
