chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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