Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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