I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Randomize
