my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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