Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
