I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
