is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
