spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
