Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
