You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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