Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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