piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
