We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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