i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
