i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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