I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
