Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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