nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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