he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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