i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
