I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
