no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
he high fived his dick after we had sex
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
