dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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