i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Cover your peen. We're going out.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
