girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
