Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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