it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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