Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
