Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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