Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
