so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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