im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Damn victory sex feels great
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
