I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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