You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
