I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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