My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
