So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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