don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
